How Far?
by Mirikizu
Summary: A one-shot songfic detailing what Kagome could have gone through after the jewel was complete, based around Martina McBride's "How Far".


_**There's a boat, I could sail away  
There's the sky, I could catch a plane**_

_**There's a train, there's the tracks  
I could leave and I could choose to not come back  
Oh never come back**_

"INUYASHA!!!!" I yelled, exasperated. "I quit. Just forget it. I'm going home. Goodbye." I turned and walked off. "I'll never forget you, beloved," I added in a whisper.

"Kagome! Wait!" came the cry from a small kitsune from around my legs. "Please don't go, Okaa-san!"

"I'm sorry, Shippou. But I just can't stand it anymore." I stopped and bent down to hug him. "It's just too hard. I can't deal with it anymore. I'm really, really sorry."

"If you were that sorry, then you'd stay," said a voice from behind her. "So are you?"

"I'm sorry that you were too stupid to see…" I trailed off, about to reveal my most heartfelt secret. But not yet. He would have to show me he deserved it.

"Kagome-sama, please stay. You haven't made your wish yet," Miroku pleaded with me.

"Kagome! You can't leave! You're my best friend! What would we do without you?" Sango had hugged me, and was not letting go. I carefully pried her off of me, and backed right into InuYasha.

"Kagome. Please, don't leave me…" I heard InuYasha whisper into my ear. "Please…"

"It's too late, InuYasha. It's over. I'm going home. And I won't come back for a long time. Maybe never." I turned to face him. "Thanks for everything. But I can't stay."

"Why not?" was his simple question.

"'A thousand answers I could give, but none would satisfy,'" I quoted. "I'm sorry, but there's nothing left. I hoped….I hoped it would work out, but…." I turned away and gathered my bag. "Goodbye, everyone. InuYasha, please don't follow me. I wish to be alone. Please. And take this," I took out the Shikon no Tama and pressed it into his hand, "to remember me by. Use it, for what _you_ want." I walked toward the well, deaf to the cries of my friends, tears streaking down my face. "Goodbye, koishii. I loved you. You were just to dense to realize until it was too late," I whispered to myself, too low for even InuYasha to hear, I hoped. I glanced back one last time, to see my friends waving, and InuYasha in the GoShinboku. I was happy for a moment, seeing him cry. He did love me, then. And the last thing I saw before I dropped down the well, was his face. I would remember it for the rest of my life.

_**There you are, giving up the fight  
Here I am begging you to try  
Talk to me, let me in  
But you just put your wall back up again  
Oh when's it gonna end**_

I waited in my room, as I had for the last year, looking out my window. I was supposed to be doing my homework. But instead, I had again drifted off, thinking of him. I had taken four boyfriends since I had left, but after the first, I gave up hope. He was gone, and I was lost. But I could not go back, not after what I told him. I cried.

I had hoped that he would've found a mate by now, and forgotten about me. I had hoped Sango and Miroku would've finally married and taken Shippou in. I had hoped that Kikyou had been laid to rest at last, and InuYasha was at last free. But I doubted it. All of it, except for Miroku's proposal. Maybe after I left, he got the courage to ask her.

We had stayed up many a night, talking of such things. He had asked me, once, if InuYasha had asked me to be his mate yet, low enough for the watchful hanyou not to overhear. He had been disappointed, but he knew by my blush that I loved him.

Sango and Shippou found out, eventually. I couldn't remember if I had told her during one of our baths, or if she had asked me. Shippou had heard me crying, and found out there. It seemed that everyone now knew of it but the hanyou himself.

Or maybe he did know. I had caught him listening one time, and had caught him watching me a lot. Waiting, it seemed. Oh, how I missed him!

Some days, I thought I saw a flash of red outside, but it was gone very quickly. Sometimes I would dream of waking in the middle of the night, and he would be there to comfort my tears. I dreamt of him often, now. I think college was finally getting to me.

_**How far do I have to go to make you understand  
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't  
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are  
So I'm gonna walk away  
And it's up to you to say how far**_

The tears started again, just as my mother came up the stairs into my room. Stupid lock that never worked. I'd have to fix that.

Mother saw me, and immediately came to my side. "What's wrong, Kagome?" she asked, hugging me to her.

"I miss him so much! Why did I have to leave?" I cried.

"You did what you thought was right at the time. Shhh, it's ok, Kagome. Shhh…"

"I loved him!"

"I know, Kagome. I know. I know exactly how you feel."

"No you don't! How could you? You don't love a hanyou from another time who you had to leave because he was being a stupid, insensitive jerk!"

"No, but I did loose your father, whom I loved very, very much. Kagome, you have to move on."

"I hear you crying about Dad a lot, why can't I cry about _him_?"

"I didn't say forget him. I simply mean that you can still love him, but you have another life here, too. You can't just discard your studies, Kagome."

"I know, Mom, but it's so _hard_!" I thought I saw a flash of red outside of my window again. Now I _know_ I'm not imagining things. What was he doing here?

"Kagome, just calm down, alright? You will see him again, I promise."

_**There's a chance I could change my mind  
But I won't, not till you decide  
What you want, what you need  
Do you even care if I stay or leave  
Oh, what's it gonna be**_

I sighed. _I wish he would come back_, I thought to myself. _How far will I have to go? Why doesn't he come back? I miss him so much!_

I glanced out the window. There, in the GoShinboku, right beside my window, was a red-clad, silver-haired boy. I quickly slid my gaze from him, so he wouldn't notice and run again. He must have been sitting there every day since I left, watching me. Oh, why does my heart hurt so much?

My eyes slid back to him, but he didn't move. I studied him, looking at him like this, I couldn't help but notice him. I mean, _really_ notice him. He was so….I struggled for the right words. So…sinuous, I guess. So streamlined and visible, no matter if you were in the green forests of earth, or the red sands of mars. He could stand out in a crowd from a mile away. And I couldn't help but think of him as mine.

I guess he must've felt the same way, but he is so hardheaded, it's hard for me to understand when he's serious. He's so…childlike, it's really hard to believe, but yes. So easygoing, laid back, it's so hard not to love him.

He must've heard my thoughts, because then he smiled at me. I smiled back, hoping he would-no! He left again. Gods, men were so annoying sometimes.

_**How far do I have to go to make you understand  
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't  
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are  
So I'm gonna walk away  
And it's up to you to say how far**_

I opened my window, letting cold air rush in. Stupid fan. It never worked. I sighed again. It seemed like all I did anymore was sigh.

I walked to my bed, and changed into my nightclothes. It felt so good to be in long pants! Sometimes skirts were restricting: you couldn't bend over or stretch too far. And what did I love to do? Stretch.

I lay down, thinking of him. It might've been all I'd done for the last year and not had anything done about it. Oh, why did I have to leave?

I fell into a doze, but woke up when I heard something land on my desk by the window. It was him. I could just feel it. He was my other half, and I filled up when he was near. _I don't care what he thinks_, I thought to myself. _He is mine, and mine alone._

He walked to my bed, and sat down, like he did this every night. He probably did, for all I can remember. He leaned over me, moving my hair from my face. I could feel his content, sitting here like this, with me.

"Kagome," he whispered. "Why did you have to leave? Why couldn't you stay with me? Why?" He looked like he didn't expect an answer. "Kagome, will you come back?"

I didn't answer, so he went on.

"Kagome, I love you. I must've told you a hundred times over the last year. Maybe even a thousand. And yet you don't tell me otherwise, even when you were half awake. Why can't you come home, just like old times? Why can't you talk to me? Why am I too scared to talk to you when your awake? Why always when your asleep? Am I scared to talk to your face? Am I just a puppy, afraid of my master? That just licks the master's face while she sleeps, but not while she's waking?"

_**Out of this chair, or just across the room  
Halfway down the block or halfway to the moon**_

"Of course not!" I said, startling him. "If you were afraid of me, you wouldn't be here, would you?"

"Kagome, your awake?" he asked, astonished.

"Of course I'm awake, you goose!"

"So…you heard…"

"All of it."

"I guess I'll leave you, then." He got up and turned, but I grabbed his haori and pulled him down to face me on the bed.

"InuYasha! If I have to say the 's' word, I will. But I really don't want to break my floor and have everyone wake up and ask what the noise was. Mou, men can be so stupid." I sighed. "Inu-chan, I'm sorry. I couldn't have been more stupid. I left because I did what I thought was right, and I don't regret it. But I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I couldn't understand why at the time, but I do now." I said quietly, my eyes asking my question. But he didn't get it. "Do you know?"

He thought for a minute. "No, I don't."

"Love." I said, simply.

He sat, silently contemplating the simple phrase.

"My mother once told me," I said, "'love wisely and well, child, for it may be your life.' But I think she told me too late."

"I don't understand."

"Do you remember the first day we met?" He nodded. "When I went home, I told my mother of you and your 'antics' as I called them. She quoted her mother, but it was already too late. I think I fell in love with you the first time I met you."

"You did?" He asked, astonished when I nodded. "I thought I was the mad one, smitten with a 20th century schoolgirl. I spoke with my brother, during one of our bouts, and he laughed. But I think he was wanting the same prize. Then he found Rin, and you were mine." He stopped, a little embarrassed.

"Inu-chan, why did you come? Really."

"I honestly don't know," he said after a moment. "My heart hurt, my body ached, and I just felt crappy. And then I found myself here, talking with 'her sleepi-ness."

"Oh, Gods, I wonder why I love you," I sighed, leaning against him.

"You know you're just the same way," he said.

"Yes, I know. But it's so much easier to talk about you."

"When are you coming back, Kagome-chan?"

"After my second term ends, I guess. Without my high school grades up, I can't finish college. I don't know how I got in in the first place. So," I yawned, more tired than I thought, "how's life at home?"

"It's fine, but you'll have to wait until tomorrow to hear about it. You said home!"

"Mmmm, I did, didn't I? Alright then, but I won't be able to visit except on weekends."

"Why not after?" he asked, puppy eyes hanging on to my every word.

"I've got homework! I can't pass if I don't do my work! And besides, there's only two more weeks."

_**How far do I have to go to make you understand  
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't  
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are  
So I'm gonna walk away  
And it's up to you to say  
YeahI'm gonna walk away  
And it's up to you to say…**_

"Oh, all right. I'll suffer, if I must. But you do realize that there will be a silver-haired someone outside, waiting, every night, don't you?"

"I expected as much. All right," I said, yawning again, "I promise." I snuggled closer to him, and he wrapped his warm haori around me.

"Goodnight, Kag-chan."

"Goodnight, Inu-chan. Aishitaru, koishii," I sighed, falling asleep.

"Aishitaru, Kagome-chan." he whispered to my sleeping form, before laying a kiss on my lips and snuggling in beside me. He just didn't realize: I kiss back.

…_**How Far…**_


End file.
